Just a Thief
by tech-17
Summary: I don't know when it was that I first fell in love with him. Was it my first arrest? Or the first time he was the officer that interrogated me? I can't really say. I do remember the first time I saw him...


I don't know when it was that I first fell in love with him. Was it my first arrest? Or the first time he was the officer that interrogated me? I can't really say. I do remember the first time I saw him. I had just swiped a candy bar. I was still a kid. He wasn't that much older than me, I think he was just starting high school. I was just starting middle school.

"You shouldn't take that."

I whirled around. There he was, staring at me, waiting for me to put it back. I hadn't realized anyone saw me.

"Why don't you just buy it? It's not that much."

"I don't have any money."

"None?"

I shook my head.

"Can't you ask your parents?"

I shook my head again. "Mommy hit me last time I asked for money."

His face softened. He held out his hand for the candy bar, and went to the counter. He paid for it, then handed it to me.

"Don't steal, it's not right."

Then he left. I didn't know his name. But I didn't steal again until my mom kicked me out of the house.

55555

I wasn't a bad thief. I say this meaning I could get away with stuff, and I didn't steal for fun. I had to eat. I was a pick-pocket, and sometimes I would snatch stuff from the grocery stores.

"Stealing is wrong."

I turned, then almost jumped out of my skin. Behind me was an elf in a LEP uniform. I sighed.

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to take you back to police plaza."

I nodded. He pulled a pair of hand cuffs from his belt, and I held out my hands. He seemed surprised that I didn't resist at all.

He led me into police plaza. One of the other officers yelled, "Hey! Corporal Kelp finally caught someone!" then started laughing. Corporal Kelp scowled, dragging me by my cuffed hands to another officer who would question me.

The higher ranking officer grinned at him. "She give you any trouble, Trouble?"

His name was Trouble? Interesting. The older elf led me away to a small room.

"Name?"

"Kirsten Laise."

"Age."

"60."

"So, you were caught pick pocketing."

"Yes."

"This is your first offence, so we'll let you off with a warning."

I nodded. "Thanks."

"Behave. Now go on."

He led me out of the building and I left.

55555

"Kirsten, this is the tenth time I've arrested you, and I know others have too. Why do you keep doing it?"

"I don't have a choice. I gotta eat."

"Can't you get a job?"

"I've tried. I just can't hold a job. I either get fired, or the place goes bankrupt, or they find someone better than me."

Trouble sighed. "You know I have to arrest you."

I nodded. "I eat better in jail anyway."

He looked at me sadly.

55555

"I'll take this one Holly. I've seen her before."

"Yessir Major Kelp."

"Major?"

"Yep, I got promoted last week."

"Surely interrogating convicts is a job for lower-ranks?"

"On a slow day it's better than paperwork."

"Well, let's get this over with. I was picking pockets cause I lost my job and I needed the money."

"You've spent most of your life in and out of jail, haven't you?"

I nodded. "When I got kicked out of my house I couldn't get a job, and I ended up on the streets. I didn't want to starve, so I started stealing."

"Well, you'll get a meal tonight. I know prison food isn't much."

"I've had worse. Jail isn't so bad, compared to where I sleep, compared to going two days not eating because I don't want to steal."

55555

"So, you got promoted to commander, and yet you still take time to deal with me."

"I know you aren't a bad elf, and I don't want the younger officers to treat you poorly."

"I had a job for two months. That's the longest yet. I was working at Spud's. They fired me cause I was eating the leftover food that would be thrown away because it was almost spoiled."

"Life's been hard on you, huh?"

"Yeah. Even when I was a kid, my mom would hit me if I asked for money. I remember, I tried to steal a candy bar from a convenience store. Some guy caught me, and told me not to steal. He bought me the candy too. I didn't steal again until I got kicked out of the house."

Trouble looked thoughtful. We had an interesting relationship. He had recently been promoted to commander of the LEP, and I was a common criminal. Yet, he was always nice to me. When he was the one who released me from jail, he would always have found some coupon for some free food. I always appreciated that.

"Bernie's Convenience store, on the corner of Pine and Ash?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

"I remember catching a girl stealing there. She was real thin and looked terrified or me. Said her mom hit her. I bought her a candy bar, and her face lit up like a mud-boy at Christmas."

"That was you?"

"Looks like it."

"I never got to thank you. So, thanks."

"Yeah. No problem."

55555

"Do you still live in the streets?"

"Of course. I can't keep a job."

"I have a friend who is on an extended vacation, and needs somebody to watch her house. I don't know what to do about food, but at least you wouldn't be sleeping in the streets."

"Your friend trusts a criminal?"

"Her best friends are criminals, ironically."

"Ironic?"

"She's LEP."

"Oh. Would this friend of yours happen to be the great disappearing Holly Short?"

"Yes. I don't know when she's coming back, but until then, you could stay at her place."

"I'd like that."

55555

"Holly's back!"

"That's great. I know you missed her."

"Yeah, but unfortunately for you, that means you're back on the streets."

"I'll live."

"I feel bad though."

"It's no big deal."

"Um… Grubb just moved out. You could stay at my place."

"What?"

"It's the duty of the LEP to keep people off the streets."

"Umm… OK?"

Trouble smiled.

55555

"Since you're living here, you will be eating here. You are now the live-in maid. Can you cook?"

"I'll learn."

"Anything will be better than me. Grubb always cooked."

"So, you cook, you clean, you get food and a place to stay. Looks like you finally found a job."

"Looks like it."

55555

"You're getting better at cooking."

"Thanks. Do the rumors bother you?"

"You mean the ones about you and me?"

"Yeah."

"Nah, there's always something. I am commander. If I make a bad decision, everybody gossips about it."

55555

"Kirsten, why are you crying?"

"I keep remembering when my dad died. Dad was in LEP Marine. He died from dirty radiation. Then mom kept getting drunk. I still miss dad."

Trouble pulled me into his arms. "I'm so sorry."

I couldn't stop the tears. He pulled me against him, pressing my face into his chest, letting my tears soak his shirt.

Finally I stopped crying. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I just broke down like that. He died 60 years ago today. I think I ruined your shirt."

"It's OK. Last week Holly broke down. It's been 60 years since her mom died. I wonder if they were working together. Coral Short died of dirty radiation too. Holly lost it and had to have Artemis take her home."

"Artemis?"

"Artemis Fowl, the crazy mud boy."

"They're friends?"

"Unfortunately. I believe the mud-boy is in love with her."

"What does she think?"

"I don't know for sure, but I think she loves him as well."

"Wow, a cop and a criminal."

Trouble chuckled. "Sound familiar?"

"What?...Oh." I realized the position we were in. Trouble had sat in the bed and pulled me into his lap, wrapping his arms around me. I was still leaning against him.

I went to pull away, surely I was making him uncomfortable, but his arms tightened around me. "Are you sure you're alright?" he asked, wiping away a tear that was trailing down my cheek.

I sighed. "I've had a hard life. I've gotten used to stuff like this. I'm fine. I'm sorry I did this to you."

"It's fine." I felt Trouble's hand in my hair. I looked up at him. "You know they say opposites attract."

"Yeah…"

Trouble's purple eyes were bright. He leaned down and kissed me. I was too startled to respond. He pulled back. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

"I suppose the LEP wouldn't take too kindly to their commander kissing a criminal."

"I don't care what they think. I assumed you didn't want me kissing you."

"You startled me."

"So, this time you'll kiss me back?"

"Yes."

55555

"The commander of the LEP and a common criminal. Wow Trouble, I wouldn't have thought that of you."

"Holly, you know better than anyone, you can't help who you fall in love with."

"No, I know. I fell for a _human_ criminal…hey!"

I watched them arguing. The human, Artemis, was playing with Holly's hair, and had just pulled on the tip of her ear. Trouble had his arm around my waist, and I was leaning on him.

Artemis spoke. "I suppose Trouble has the same talent as you for reforming criminals."

Trouble's arm tightened around me. "I don't think she's a criminal."

"I was."

"You did what you had to. And hey, you don't have to anymore."

"Yup, I get to eat every day now!" I said, acting mock over-excited.

55555

"There are a lot of rumors about us, and the fact that we're living together."

"I've been looking for a job so I can move out."

"I don't want you to move out."

"You don't?"

"No, I want you to permanently move in."

"Huh?"

"Will you marry me?"

I gaped at him. "Seriously? … Yes!" I flung my arms around him. He kissed me, then put the ring on my finger. "Kirsten Kelp. I like it."

"I like you."

"Thank you. For saving me."

"From what?"

"Myself. My life as a thief."

"You are still a thief."

"What?"

"Well, you stole my heart."

"Well, Commander, you aren't following the rules of the LEP very well, because you stole mine."

"You know something?"

"What?"

"God gave us two legs to walk, two arms to touch, two ears to hear, and two eyes to see. But why did he give us only one heart? To find the other that is in your soul mate. I think I found mine."

"That's sweet, but you're getting really cheesy."

"Love makes us do the stupidest things."

55555

Demon Warlock No. 1 stood in front of us. "I now pronounce you, man and elf."

In the audience Holly and Artemis were trying not to laugh. Apparently No. 1 said something to them during a time travelling incident. All I could say was that I hoped they didn't crack up during their own wedding next month.

"You may now kiss the bride."

Trouble kissed me, then led me out of the chapel, where he kissed me again. We accepted the congratulations, then went home. Finally, my life was perfect.

End

**Author Note: I like Trouble. Usually I end up making fun of him, but I really wanted to write something serious about him. However, I do best with romance (judging by the number of favorites and reviews of my various stories) and anyway, I kind of have a crush on Trouble. And Artemis. But I really like Arty and Holly. So I made up a new character. Cause I think Trouble deserves someone, and not Lilli Frond. And I won't give him Holly. Holly belongs with Arty. Yeah, anyway… Was the ending lame? I couldn't think how to end. **

_**Review for virtual cookies. No really, there's a link in my profile.**_


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